I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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