I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
