Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
