your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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