Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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