its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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