OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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