Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
