I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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