He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
