Having a random hookup so left but love u
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
