We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
