he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We have started to decorate penises.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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