He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
