I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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