I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
