NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
