and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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