Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
