I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
