I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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