Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
