No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
