Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
