We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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