We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
