how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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