i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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