I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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