my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
