I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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