Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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