I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
