East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
