I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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