Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
