Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
