Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry mel24 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was

Fav 9 2713 1323
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.

Fav 10 2880 1300
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka

Fav 8 1732 2525
share tweet
(620): View more from Kansas

He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.

Fav 14 2663 1122
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wait

Fav 5 3153 1491
share tweet
(661): View more from California

There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.

Fav 9 1962 852
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.

Fav 2 1014 792
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(727): View more from Florida

Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.

(253): View more from Washington

I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?

Fav 2 850 385
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?

Fav 0 16 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT