Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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