my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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