shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
