Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
