its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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