Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
