My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
