I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
