he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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