where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
