My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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