You can't motorboat a personality
my vag is so smooth its legendary
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
